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Communication Style Self Awareness
As we communicate in a faster paced and more crowded world,
we can no longer rely on our ability to connect with just
a few people and not others. The mastery of skills to communicate
in a much more sophisticated and knowledgeable way is critical
to bringing about the results we desire in our world, both
personally and professionally. Whether you are working in
a large company, an entrepreneurial business, or are self-employed,
such understanding of others will serve you and the people
you interact with very well.
Although most of us use a combination and move between styles,
this summary may help you to recognize your primary style.
What do you need when in conflict and how can you support
someone else to be understood more clearly?
Here's a snapshot:
DIRECTING STYLE: Characteristics
of this style include the need for bottom line results and condensed
information. Examples of language identified with this style:
- Let's get focused here
- We need to make a decision
- Can you say exactly what you want us to do?
- I see your point, but what about. . .?
- We're off topic
- Lead, follow, or get out of my way. . ..
The kind of support they need is to remind them of the people
as well as the task aspect of a situation.
Here are some ways to help them:
- I think (person's name) has something to say. . .
- Someone write down the issues so we can all read them
- Prioritize issues / ideas
- Remind them that everyone has something to contribute
- Get their attention by saying, "It's hard for me to say
this. . .
MEDIATING STYLE: This style
is concerned for others, sometimes more than themselves. They
are every uncomfortable in conflict. You might notice them saying:
- I can see your point
- I can see you are really unhappy. What can we do about
it?
- What's happening with you?
- That's interesting. I have a different point of view.
What others can do to support this style is to provide opportunity
or space for them to speak up.
PRESENTING STYLE: This
style is usually at the front of the room presenting convincing
points of view in a way that is entertaining and clear. Examples
of language used in conflict are:
- Thinking out loud
- Trying to talk their way out of a jam
- Wanting to hear what others are thinking
- Trying to lighten up the room by joking or making light-hearted
comments
The kind of support they like to have is:
- Recognizing and naming feelings
- Taking them seriously
STRATEGIZING STYLE: The qualities
prized by this style include lots of detailed information and
accurate assessment by considering all the facts. In conflict
you will notice them:
- Avoiding it
- Tendency to give up on resolving the issue for it seems
to complex
- Asking for more information
- Suggesting that more time is needed to consider the implications
Support for this style includes:
- Initiating open communication
- Encouragement and support to be open
- Acknowledgement of how difficult it is
STYLE NOTES: For further learning
and beginning mastery of style distinction, take some time to
consider the following:
- Name one person you are reminded of when you read each
description
- List the difficult areas of communication you've had
in the past with this person
- Discover at least two ways you can flex your own style
to better interact with them
- Determine how and when you will implement the new approach
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